I had some big ambitions for this year. One of them was to really focus on becoming a better seamstress and to really dive in and start making my clothes instead of just collecting patterns and stashing fabrics. I even announced that I’d be playing along with this year’s integration of Wardrobe Architect. Then January turned into February, and I’ve blinked and we’re halfway through March. I’ve reminded myself a hundred times to sit down and go through the worksheets again and write some posts about my practices for honing a small, functional wardrobe, but as you can see, it hasn’t happened.
I also had big plans for Nash and Russo as a business. After getting sidelined last year in favor of taking care of Cubby, I felt newly invigorated to start designing, creating, and selling my wares. I spent those less physically productive months doing research, sourcing materials, reading business books, and really thinking about how I want this whole operation to look and feel. I am so excited to really make a proper go of it, but it seems that’s going to have to wait a bit longer.
Sometimes, many times, we start off with these plans, and then life simply just gets in the way. Late in January my regular job presented me with a long term opportunity. One that would involve a lot of travel over the next year, but take my career in a direction I longed hoped it could go. So, I took it, and since then my life has been turned on its ear. Lots running around, lots of travel (I wrote most of this post on a plane), and eventually this will culminate in several months away from home. It took me a few weeks to really adjust to the idea. I thought I would still be able to fit in those other plans, and I started to feel guilty that I couldn’t muster up the time to sit down at my sewing machine or start printing fabric or a hundred other things I felt that I should be doing in order to stay on track. It was tough, stressful, and not at all how I wanted it.
Then I realized, I am on track, just a different one. I’ve had to rearrange so much of my life in order to accommodate this new adventure, but more importantly, I’ve had to realize that getting ready to go should be my focus, not trying to go down other paths when I don’t have the time or energy to focus on them properly. It would just lead to more frustration. That’s not to say I’m totally giving up my other plans, but I’m scaling them back. It’s unlikely I’ll reopen my Etsy shop or move to another e-commerce platform any time this year, and that bums me out, but I know if I’m going to do it, I want to do it right. The same goes for Wardrobe Architect, I still hope to make a couple of garments, but if I don’t, I’m okay with that too. I’m going to be spending most of days in uniform anyway, so I really don’t need the clothes.
Life gets in the way, it always gets in the way. My mom loves to say “Man makes plans and God laughs.” Insert whichever diety or unknown universal force you prefer into that quote, but it’s true. You plan, you prepare, you get knocked into a different direction. In fact, I had hoped to deploy when I finished my initial training with the Navy 5 years ago, I got pregnant instead. Thinking about it that way, I’m just finally getting to that plan, and so it’s ok to scale back the other things. I think the important thing has been learning to let things go without guilt or reservation. To realize that I’m never going to fit everything in, I’m never going to get everything done, and that doesn’t make me less of a person to say “no” or “not right now”. In some ways, I like always being hungry for more.